I really hate this question. I don't mind if my close, dear friends ask me what my intended plans are for the weekend, but I hate when my boss asks me this. I don't want to reveal my secrets. I want to cherish the approximately 48 hours that I am not obligated to respond to you. I also, for lack of any other way to put, don't want you to know what I am doing.
No, I am not planning on getting arrested or committing an act of treason. No, I simply don't care to share with you what I intend to do. I could simply plan (which is usually the case) to lay around all day long and think about life. I could be planning on watching the Sex and The City marathon that E network shows all day on Saturdays.
The point is, I am going to make up some incredulous tale of what my weekend plans are and I am going to make sure it is nothing like what I really have planned. I just hate the question, "So what are you weekend plans?"
I hate this question sooooooo much that I have come to the conclusion that I need an obligatory response. So, I have decided to have a generic script that goes as follows:
First, I plan on stopping by Quik Trip on my way home. I will then purchase a twenty-four pack of Natural Ice beer, seven scratch off tickets and one philly blunt. I will also grab a buffalo chicken stick and an orange fanta.
Next, when I arrive at my castle I plan on running a half marathon. I will run in nothing but a wife beater and a pair of denim cut-offs. I also plan on tweeting the same time as I run.
Finally, I will spend the next 48 hours locked in my casa doing nothing but consuming copious amounts of cheap beer and watching Anderson 360 on my DVR. I don't plan on bathing or changing clothing articles.
Yes, those are my plans for the weekend. And yes, I am serious.
